Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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