You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
