I'm gonna have a badass scar
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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