I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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