i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
