margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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