Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize