We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize