ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize