and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
