i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize