It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
