What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
