bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
