Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
