At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
