That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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