I feel like abortions should bother me more
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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