U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
