I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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