Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
