she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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