Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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