Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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