You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
