So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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