I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
