dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
