Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
