i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
