omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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