you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
