Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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