I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
