She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
