if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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