that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
