Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
