I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
