That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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