in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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