Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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