i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
