I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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