Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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