The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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