Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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