I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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