Just fell off a train. Bad.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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