Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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