Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
