i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
pop tarts are not kleenex
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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