I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
