Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
