felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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