That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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