Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
