I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
